GOODe Confessions: Weight, weight... WAIT!

Ugh. Weight. No other topic really has as much...well... um.. weight with me.

Well, that isn't true.. at least not anymore. At one point in my life that would have been true... but let's just say weight and me... we go way back.

Truth be told, I can remember dealing with my weight as young as the age of seven. Not that it was the issue that it is today, but rather being aware that I was "big boned" like they liked to say back in the day. That I was different or as it turns out... a lot like a lot of other people--even though I didn't know it then.

At the age of 15, I became convinced I was a gal of mammoth proportions and that somehow that meant I was less of a person. Turns out, I was wrong on both accounts and would spend the majority of my adult life chasing those numbers on the scale that once horrified me as a teenager and learning that those numbers do not equate self worth.

Now, some of you might think that getting self worth tangled in with your weight is a silly notion and others may feel that people should just eat right and get off their butts more and exercise. I get it. I just think we all have strengths and weaknesses and I hope you'll be patient with me as I share one of my major weaknesses.

What comes easy to me, may not come easy to you... and vice versa. And (watch your toes... here it comes), truth be told, that kind of "advice" really doesn't resonate with me... just sayin'

Anyhoo, I have a LONNNGGG weight story that I won't bore you with tonight, but it kind of goes something like this.

Girl thinks she is fat. She isn't.

Girl goes to college. Girl gets fat.

Girl marries love of her life. Girl gets fat and happy.

Girl is "liberated and evolved" and doesn't care about weight. Girl gets fatter.

Girl goes to Weight Watchers. Girl loses. Girl goes off of WW. Girl gets fatter

Rinse, repeat.

Then one day the hard-headed girl learns how her weight is more about her head than her thighs, a life dedication to salad  or sweating until you bleed in the gym. Girl loses weight and maintains loss.

Throw in a pregnancy and another weight loss and maintenance and you get the picture.

So, why am I dragging you down my weighty road?

Girl needs to get her head on straight. Pronto.

My scale has turned on me. I don't know why... I have bribed her with cakes, pies, fried zucchini, ice cream and other treats and the gal just won't give a girl a break. Lately her numbers keep adding up and up... and I find myself standing there shaking my head yelling...

"Weight, weight, WAIT!"

Now when someone announces she wants to lose weight, everyone has well meaning weight loss advice... and heck here I am dousing you in mine...lol!

But, I know what works for me... That isn't my problem.

Problem is... I have been letting life get in the way of what I need to do and that stops tonight.

I know what keeps me sane, lets me live and helps me maintain. Please note, it is not a substitution for what your doc says (look, I knew to say that and I am not even a lawyer ;) ), it is just what works for me.

• I need to go to regular counseling with El. (It has come to my attention that some of my new readers are unfamiliar with dear Ole El. You can read about her here... but the bottom line is, she is my very needy and judgmental friend, that I love to hate and hate, but love--my elliptical machine.)  For me, El requires three times a week for 45 minutes -- bare minimum break even threshold-- Believe me, I have done scientific tests ;) 

• I need to manage my diet. High fiber, low fat, low sugar. One day off a week for sanity and self-control throughout the rest of the week.

• I CAN'T believe I am about to say this... I need to wean myself from the DC, baby... Diet Coke that is. I am not ready to go there yet, but I think it has to go or at least become an occasional treat versus intravenously feed through my arm. (Puddie just fell over... can someone pick him up?)

• I need to get back on my yoga kick... I heart it and it does so much GOODe.
  
• And, most importantly, I need to work on my Tice Talk regarding my weight... it makes a HUGE difference in my ability and drive to do all the other things listed.

So there you have it. 

Stay tuned. 

I am sure El and I will have some devilish fight in the coming days... she is quite the... well... um... I can't say those words in front of Miss Add ;)