Unfolding Wallflower

While at Blissdom this year I had the awesome opportunity to hear Brene Brown speak.

Truth be told, when I saw that a researcher was the keynote, I really didn't get how that was going to translate  to my blog (Sorry Brene).

But, that would be because I have been living under a rock and had never heard of her or TED.com (Where have I been?) where she totally rocked it.

It turns out, Brene's talk was the highlight of my Blissdom experience.

I promise the video below is worth the time investment.

Not to tell ya what to do or anything, but STOP.

Watch it now.

I'll wait.

You didn't just scroll past did ya? Just checking...

While this wasn't the same talk we lovely Blissdom ladies received, it had a lot of the same messages.

God used this talk and the excepting, loving environment at Blissdom to work on me. Big Time.

The idea of embracing vulnerability and owning imperfection clicked with me... like a puzzle piece finally popping into place after 15 years of desperately turning it around and around...

Prior to Blissdom I had been thinking a lot about how I had been hurt before and God kept reminding me that  I will never find perfect people or perfect situations... so much so that His Word is full of all these imperfect souls... even the biblical rock stars had some pretty major flaws...just sayin'

That, and Lord knows I am not perfect myself...

So, when I heard Brene speak, in such an environment that practically screamed "be yourself and we'll protect you", I began to venture out of my shell and discovered an old friend along the way-- the gal God made to be me.

Suddenly a peace that I have craved for literally years washed over me, as I began to unfold what I had been holding deep inside for years: fear of rejection, bullies, spiritual condescension, religious persecution, hurt, pain, etc.

I had searched for it for years and found all painful things I was trying to avoid waiting for me in its place.

So, instead I had miserably and desperately tried to lock the world and in many ways God (and most definitely the church) out in an effort to protect myself from the next heartbreak.

The problem is, He didn't make me that way... and I have felt it for a long time... something wasn't right.

All last week when I got a little down time, I would call Puddie and tell him about things were finally shifting into place. If anyone knew the degree of my struggles, it was him-- the one person who has seen the real me all these years and watched me stumble through social settings and struggle with fellowship.

So now things are different. And, while I still have tons of questions, I have so much I want to share and discover through this awesome medium called blogging--a medium that God has so graciously used to help me find myself again--not to mention the amazing community I have found in you.

And, while you dear reader have allowed me a few very drawn out posts dancing around these subjects while I have figured all this out, we both know these kind of topics aren't at the heart of what GOODEness Gracious is all about.

So, from here on out GG will return to food, fun, freezer cooking, photos and tons of Super Mommy Secrets, while I will also take on a second blog-- Unfolding Wallflower-- to grapple with the spiritual and social changes in my life.

You are welcome to join me there or opt not to... just wanted to let you know what I am up to :)

And, if I haven't told ya'all lately-- I love ya.

Thank you for coming here everyday.

There are so many places to visit on the internet and I am blessed to have you take the time to visit my little online home.