Dear Reader-
Below is a post that I wrote for my other blog, but after it was finished I decided to post here as well.
I have been catching up on some bloggy reading and finding myself going down the proverbial bloggy rabbit hole and when I find myself out in the blogosphere it is inevitable that I find myself on more than one occasion on posts that at one time or another declare that there are "so many mommy bloggers out there pretending to have it all together or pretending to be perfect"... and in some form or fashion the posts go on to condemn this prevalent character and that practice of being perfect...
My first thought every time I read this-- a common notion in the blogosphere-- is where are all these perfect people that are ruffling everyone's imperfect feathers???
The blogging community that I know and love is rich with honesty, raw motherhood moments and the support that follows and shouts "Amen--right there with ya, sister".
While at the same time those same brilliant resourceful women offer me so much that I love to learn from and laugh with...
Then the thought occurred to me that I kind of like a light, fun and happy blogosphere... not a plastic--nothing ever goes wrong-- one, but rather one that seeks out the positive and gravitates towards joy despite whatever life throws at us...
It does my heart good... and
Philippians 4:8
New International Version (NIV)
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Then a fear sprouts up in my mind that perhaps some think I fancy myself as perfect or that I am an offender of sugar-coating motherhood over on my main blog.
I get the sentiment of why we all want to hang the "perfect mom" up like a pinata and take several whacks at her... it boils down to being sick of being made to feel guilty.
We are guilty that we can't do it all to the level we want to.
Guilty that we work.
Guilty that we are away from work.
Guilty that we didn't do that load of laundry.
Guilty that there are bedtime tears.
Guilty that fido hasn't been played with.
Guilty that God wasn't the focus today, or yesterday or heck when was He the main focus?
Guilty that life is more like a hamster wheel than a glorious journey.
Guilty of storybooks that weren't read.
Guilty about the food we buy.
Guilty of TV time.
Guilty of time wasted.
Guilty of the exercise that did not happen.
Guilty of time gone by...
Shall I go on?
So when someone comes along or perhaps just the thought of someone coming along with it all together... we want to whack her... and her disingenuous self...
I am just wondering if the majority of these women that are judging me so harshly with their perfect lives are in fact myths... a figment of my imagination to cope with guilt I self-impose... almost like a Big Foot-esque spotting in the blogosphere.
I am sure there is some gal out there somewhere still pretending to be June Cleaver... but for the most part, most moms I know online and off have evolved from this out of touch creature... who has the time to pretend?
Yet, we carry on constantly about her, berate her, claim to be nothing like her... but secretly (or sometimes openly) deal with the guilt that comes with the thought of her...
And, with that said... if I am wrong... I kind of feel sorry for the perfect souls--or those who pretend to be--, for they don't know the magnificence of a friend coming to your aid when you need it most or the support of a loving blogosphere... or the blessing it is to share a struggle with someone when they need to hear it most.
Shared imperfection is part of what binds us to and builds our relationships.
Now, I have tried to make it clear that in this house- Martha doesn't live here... but, just in case there is any question... here is a list of things... Just so ya know...
Just so ya know... right now-- as I type this-- my house is in complete disarray.
Just so ya know... if you knocked on my door right now, I'd hide.
Just so ya know... there are lots of days when I don't want to cook-- even though I love to cook.
Just so ya know... some days the number (or lack there of) of vegetables consumed here is just shameful.
Just so ya know... I love my kid. She isn't perfect... but she is the perfect match for me.
Just so ya know... I struggle. I struggle with my faith, weight, clutter, balance (figuratively and some times literally;))--just to name a few.
Just so ya know... I love my husband. He isn't perfect either... but I know God sent him to me and I thank heaven above... even if he came with smelly socks...
Just so ya know... His mama does not have the sense of smell... and with raising 5 GOODe Ole Boys, I'd say she is thanking God for that as well ;)
Just so ya know... We have never had a regular bed time routine for Miss Add or routine period...gasp.
Just so ya know... I wish I was better at a lot of things.
Just so ya know... I have been slipping on thinking positively lately... and I have really felt the effects of it.
Just so ya know... I need to be much better at managing my time.
Just so ya know... So far, I stink at learning how to bake bread.
Just so ya know... I don't post every recipe that I make... a lot of flops don't make the cut.
With all that said, I know that I intentionally try to keep GG positive, fun and an inspiration in and out of the kitchen and I don't begrudge any other mom that tries to do the same in their little neck of the blogosphere.
What are your thoughts... are there droves of perfect moms slathering the blogosphere with their icky perfection or is it a bloggy urban myth that is needlessly driving us all crazy?
7 GOODe Thoughts:
Sounds like a pretty normal life to me :)
And, if there are perfect people out there.... I take them with a grain of salt. Like my sweet husband always reminds me....'you don't live with them, so how do you really know what their life is like'. He's so wise :)
Have a happy day !!
I agree with Kerin, sounds like a normal life to me. Lord knows I'm not perfect, but if my love for my family was the judge of being a good mother and wife, then I would be perfect. Great post. :)
Sometimes blogging is therapy, and like some of your recipes, I have had a few posts that I wrote but did not post. Is it disappointing that plans change at the last minute due to farm duties? YEP! Do my girls drive me nuts with their whining stages? Yep. Do I wish I could get a better grip on my house work? Yep! BUT I remember days when I did not feel like going to work, and an idea someone once shared with me: Dress up and look your best, especially when you are feeling your worse. When I would do that, the positive compliments picked me up and made me feel better. I swear illness is 1/2 physical and 1/2 mental! Focusing on the good helps us NOT focus on the bad, and the benefits of having someone else smile, nod, or just relate to what you are saying is a wonderful pat on the back.
this is such a great post!!! Hope that you are having a great weekend.
I can relate with every statement at the end of your post. And I think that most people can!
I love this post. We all know no one lives a perfect life, so "why put on airs" or be fake about it. Anyway, letting your readers share some of the less flattering moments helps us all feel truly connected. Thanks for the beautiful honesty!
when i begin to feel like i just don't measure up (to standards someone else usually sets--why try??) my sweet husband always reminds me that we compare our "worst" self to other's "best" selves, meaning, we see ourselves when we are at our worst, and usually see others when they are at their best: at church, restaurants, school, whatever it may be. how can we ever expect to "measure up" to that? the truth is, we can't, nor should we feel as if we have to try. when i remember his words i feel so much better about myself, and don't even think about the "perfect" someone else. it's just a waste of precious time.
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